


(my whole body is) Itching and Beating

by jeonwoniw (kageyama_tobio)



Series: oh how these petals love taunting me [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, aju nice era?, hanahaki-ish disease, he also screwed up, he's in pain, it's based on the chest exploding thing in aju nice, junhui has hibiscus, junhui is not an ass, not hanahaki but somehow like one, or slight angst?, should i place this in the hanahaki tag?, wonwoo is a martyr, yeah sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 13:58:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9551978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kageyama_tobio/pseuds/jeonwoniw
Summary: “I just want to live simple—I didn’t want to have this disease! But I also can’t treat him like a friend, he is more than that, and that’s the truth and it hurts.” – Wen JunhuiIf Wen Junhui didn’t fell in love with Xiao Minghao, then his chest wouldn’t burst petals every time he sees him.ORWhen Wonwoo held the petal up, Junhui knew he had a disease.





	

**Author's Note:**

> yooooooo I'm finally done here! This story took me months since I have to look for the hard drive where I save this and it's really small so it was hard to find! I also edited this online so some that are meant to be italicized aren't italicized. 
> 
> Edited on the last minute
> 
> I'm also not a native speaker of English, so feel free to point out my mistakes!
> 
> ~(h)elle

_The first time he heard about it, he was alone._

  
It was a day off, to say the least. Everybody needed the refreshment. With all the hectic promotions and fan meetings, the boys stressed themselves out. Seungcheol, Seokmin, and Vernon went to visit their respective families, while Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Jihoon, and Jisoo went out to eat. Mingyu and Seungkwan took a stroll, and Soonyoung and Chan busied themselves by dancing in the practice room. Minghao was currently in China to visit his parents, while Junhui… Well, he doesn't really have a plan so his stayed back at the dorm.

  
Junhui sighed as the deafening sound of the television blasted his ear. He couldn't find anything amusing. He saw Seungkwan's favorite show re-runs, the cooking show Mingyu watches, live guesting, and any other sort of entertainment. Soon after he pressed the next key of the remote control, he found himself watching news that was released today.

At first, he didn't listen; he just let the sound blared on his ears. However, a newsflash somehow caught his attention. Intrigued, he sat up straight and eyed the illuminating screen.

  
_"A sudden outbreak of a newly found disease was found in a few countries. Asia has the most attacked. Scientists haven't discovered the name for it and named it—for the mean time—the ‘Bursting Flower. However, it can cause death if it wasn't cured. Symptoms may consist of stomachaches, heartburns, vomiting, and for some odd and unexplainable reason, your chest explodes flowers. Nobody knew what the cause of the disease is yet but luckily, researchers are studying for cures. Then again, we will be giving updates in the future."_

 

He thought it was funny. Exploding of flowers? How can that happen? He snickered at the thought. Sure, it's deadly, but he didn't care; he won't have it, anyways.

 

 

  
Well, that was what he thought.

* * *

_The first time he discovered he liked Minghao, he read the lyrics of their song._

  
Junhui and Minghao were alone at the office so that they could practice Minghao's Korean. Junhui pointed out the flaws of the latter and helped him pronounce the words or write the alphabet. The younger was busy writing sentences after sentences which Junhui checks every now and then.

  
He didn't know why he loves to stare at the other's soft features. He loved how Minghao's eyes weren't too big or how his lips aren't too plump. He loved how he would wear his earrings when he felt like it. He loved the fact that the other's body isn't too buff or too fragile. He was perfectly imperfect for who he is.

  
"Hyung," Minghao piped, he unconsciously woke up Junhui from his daydream. The smaller pointed to one of the sentences and asked, "How do you pronounce this?"

  
Junhui read the sentence. _What's this?_ He thought. Minghao knew how to say this. He thought this to him a few weeks ago. "Didn't I tell you how to say this?"  
"Yup." Minghao giggled and Junhui's heart can't take it.

  
Junhui frowned. What's this guy up to? "Then, why did you want me to say it?"

  
"I like how you say it."

  
Suddenly, Junhui felt his heart ache. He was dizzy and light-headed; he didn't know why he was feeling like this. What's this feeling? He didn't know why but it was sweet and addicting yet too bad for his condition.

 

_‘I hope that we aren't tricked by familiarity and lose each other'_

* * *

The first time it happened, it was in front of Wonwoo.

  
It was a usual day for Seventeen. Soonyoung's dance steps were troubling the others. Fortunately for Junhui, he didn't have a hard time on picking up the dances; he was just tired. As he eyed the others, he found himself staring at his Chinese companion.

  
Unlike Junhui, Minghao was still having a hard time. Despite being a dancer, he was confused and he took the steps, slowly. The brunette gave water to the younger as he said, "Are you okay?"

  
"Yeah, just tired." The smaller smiled slightly, his Chinese accent thick as always. The elder didn't know why he felt the need to take care of the weary boy.

  
That's where he felt his chest clench.

  
Junhui felt his heartbeat loud. It was booming; his ears rang and his eyes diluted. Most of all, his chest hurts and he was dizzy. His stomach made it worst as it ached and he wanted to throw up.

  
Minghao sensed something wrong. The elder wasn't speaking and Minghao noticed his knuckles whitened from the tight grip on the water bottle he held. "Hyung, what's wrong?"

  
"N…No... There's nothing wrong." Junhui shook his head as he chuckled. "Sorry for worrying you."

  
"Hyung, are you sure you're okay?" Junhui's head spun. With the weight of his heart and the solidity of his chest, he knew he had to go.

  
Junhui dashed out of the room after he stated that he will go to the restroom. Members wanted to ask but they were cut off when he slammed the door shut. He moved faster and he didn't know why. It was instinct, he thought.

  
As soon as he opened the door to the restroom, light and colorful petals erupted in the air, as he fell down to the ground. He closed his eyes, expecting that the impact will hurt much lesser that it would, but he felt hands on both shoulders to keep him from falling. Slowly, he opened his eyelids, and he saw Wonwoo in front of him.

  
"Jun…? Wha… What's this?" The younger asked and helped Junhui leaned on the wall. Wonwoo offered the water on his hand to Junhui since the other left his at the room. Junhui didn't hesitate to drink it. He felt the fingers of the taller on his face and that's when he knew he was crying. "Junhui, we have to tell—"

"No! Won, don't… Just don't let the others know." He cut the other. He knew what it was. His memory was still fresh. H…how did I have… this?

"Feelings," Wonwoo gulped out. Junhui stared in confusion. Now he felt the younger's hands shivered. "You have unrequited feelings for someone. That's… That's the cause of the disease."

"H-how did you…"

  
"Because I found it out by myself." Junhui stared. _Wonwoo had feelings for someone? Who?_ Junhui chuckled.

 

 

 

  
He knew who it was.

 

"It's Mingyu, isn't it?" He laughed. "It's Mingyu, right? You have it too."

  
Wonwoo loosened the grip and closed his fist. The boy looked down and moved beside Junhui as he held his legs. "…Yeah."

"You too are so close. It must be tough." He breathed a laugh. He saw Wonwoo gulped and held his legs tighter. Wonwoo is precious to Junhui—he knows how to keep a secret. It may be a bad thing that he found himself earning the disease, but it was fine that Wonwoo was the only one who saw it. If it was the other members, they would probably tell the whole staff to send him to the hospital.

  
"Of course it's tough." The younger gazed away. "It's tough to know that the person you love doesn't love you the way you love them."

  
"Thought he was gay for you." Junhui laughed but only earned a smack from Wonwoo. Fortunately, the other finally smiled. Junhui couldn't help but noticed how the other looked disheveled. He probably threw up, but at least his breath doesn't smell like anything funny. He washed his mouth with running water, idiot.

  
"First of all, he's not." Wonwoo fiddled with the fabric of his jeans. "If he was, then I wouldn't have this."

  
"Sad." This time, Junhui received a glare. "What?"

  
"No… It's nothing." The black-haired sighed and stared at Junhui. "How about you? Who's the guy?"

  
"Guy?" What does Wonwoo mean by 'guy'? Junhui's not gay. He knows himself after all. What on earth it Wonwoo saying?

  
As if he heard the other's thoughts, he implied, "We don't really talk to any girls, except for the managers. Besides, we didn't have any scheduled fan meet the past few weeks, and we were all stuck in the dorms all by ourselves last week. Who is it? Is he from the group?"

  
His throat dried up but his mouth spoke for itself. "…Minghao, I think. He gives me the funny butterfly feelings all the time." The brunette averted his gaze. He saw himself in the full-body mirror, distressed and wrecked. At least, Wonwoo looked better.

  
"Sudden feelings?" The younger asked as he, too, stared at his own reflection. _Is that a sad smile?_ Junhui shook it off.

  
"Yeah, it just happened, I guess." The shorter chuckled at the same time he pitied himself. He was exhausted, but his heartbeat started to slow down.

  
"How can you be so accepting immediately?" Wonwoo teased while he hoped he would lighten up the other's mood.

  
"I don't know. How ‘bout you, how can you be so sure you'll keep the secret from the other members?" The elder cooed back. Wonwoo grinned and let out a laugh.

"Because _I'm_ Wonwoo."

"Damn, yeah. You're Wonwoo."

 

 

He knew Wonwoo can keep it. This boy is introverted and always silent unless he wanted to say something. He's just scared if he will burst in front of the members. Worst, if they are in a fan meet. Junhui wondered how Wonwoo can stay calm when Mingyu is there beside him all the time.

  
Junhui noticed the colorful petals. There were red, yellow, pink, and odd yet colorful petals everywhere. The buds were huge and he didn't think he would survive bursting more of them.

  
"Hibiscus," Wonwoo stated, forthright and persuasive. He picked up one of the fallen petals and played with it. "They're so pretty and big."

  
"I know what else is pretty and big." The elder remarked with a teasing tone. Wonwoo gave him a sardonic gaze. Junhui only creased up a little before he calmed down.

  
Silence deafened their ears as they sat down quietly at the tiles of the bathroom. It's funny how the others weren't looking for them but while he was thinking about them, he felt his heart clenched.

  
"It hurts." He pointed at his chest. Wonwoo turned his black eyes to where he pointed. There were no holes, but it felt like it had one. "Here. It hurts so much."

  
"Of course, it does." Wonwoo agreed. "They say it hurts more if it's larger."

  
"I just want to live simple." Junhui sighed. "I-I didn't want to have this disease! But I also can't treat him like a friend, he is more than that, and that's the truth and it hurts."

  
"Neither did I want this." Wonwoo frowned.

  
Junhui smiled, dejectedly.

 

They didn't want this.

 

It must be a punishment for thinking that the disease is nothing but nonsense.

 

_Nice one, Junhui._

 

No one will know.

 

  
_For now._

* * *

"News flash! Scientists finally found that the ‘bursting flower' illness was caused by unrequited feelings. Moreover, researchers are still finding a cure for it. Despite this, they stated that one's illness can be cured if the person they fell in love with will love them back the same way. Updates for this sickness will be awaited soon."

* * *

Ever since Junhui told Wonwoo, there had been misfortunate events happening.

Especially to Wonwoo.

  
Junhui could only pity the boy. He had to see Mingyu with someone else. Junhui could only squeeze Wonwoo's hand and at least he could calm him down. Jihoon had been keeping an eye on them and Junhui knew he is suspecting something.

  
"Won?" The brunette called.

  
"Hmm?"

  
"I think Jihoon is glaring at us." He whispered. "I feel like he knows."

  
"It'll be okay." Wonwoo grinned and buried his face into Junhui's neck. As much as how intimate it looks like, they're just friends.

  
"I hope so."

 

I really do.

* * *

"I like him a lot." The elder sobbed after he released the pain.

  
"Of course you do." Chan sighed.

  
"Do you think I even have a chance?" The boy sighed and sat down across the younger.

  
"Hyung, it hurts to say this but if he really likes him, then it's quite impossible." Chan reached out for his hand. "But really, Hyung?"

  
"Yeah?"

  
"You'll be okay."

  
Somehow, it reassured Wonwoo.

* * *

_It happened quite sooner than he thought._

  
They were in the middle of their practice when suddenly Junhui felt something funny again. Minghao kept his gaze at the elder and this must be the source of the pain. Junhui slowly looked at Wonwoo, who happened to be beside him, before he held the latter's wrist and pulled him away from the room.

  
"Hyung, where are you going?" Chan asked in concern because they didn't end the session yet.

  
Junhui thanked God that Wonwoo was with him since the taller smiled softly before he muttered, "We're just going to a bathroom break. Remember the rules? We should always be with someone when we go to the restroom."

  
Chan was about to retaliate but he kept his mouth shut and Junhui didn't know why. Probably Wonwoo did something.

  
They walked away and Junhui grabbed Wonwoo's wrist again after he let it go when Wonwoo came to explain to Chan about the ‘bathroom break' (technically they were going there so that Junhui's chest can burst, but it was still a lie.) but the elder swore Wonwoo's breath hitched. He didn't give much care since his head started to spin. However, as he was about to open the door, the beast inside him woke his heart up and the world turned white. The last few things he heard were terrified screams and the red, and white buds erupted while the world turned black.

 

  
How can pretty flowers taunt him in times like this?

* * *

_"A cure for the ‘bursting flower' disease was finally found! Researchers said that the other way for this illness to be removed is for a surgery that will cost ₩3,000,000 and above. However, feelings of your unrequited love will also be removed after the operation came to a success."_

* * *

_When Junhui woke up, he could hear the voices of his friends._

  
"I knew it!" Jihoon screamed. "Won, you should've told us!"

  
"I'm sorry." The taller muttered. "He told me not to."

  
"But we're a family!" Soonyoung shouted. "And families should always tell each other's secrets."

  
"I'm—I'm so sorry."

  
His eyes didn't dare open yet but he could hear everything around him. _Why are they mad at Wonwoo?_

_They shouldn't._

 

Jeonghan's voice was just near him and he heard the boy cut the argument. "Will he need an operation?"

  
"That's the case if we can't find out who Junhui likes." He heard their leader spoke.

  
"Wonwoo-Hyung," Seokmin's voice erupted. "Aren't you always with Junhui? Did he say anything?"

  
That's when Junhui decided to wake up. He wasn't ready to hear Wonwoo admit it. He let out a groan and he could feel all eyes on him.

  
"Jun, you okay?"

  
"Hyung, what happened?"

  
"When did this start?"

  
"I think we should let Jun rest for a while," Jihoon told them. As much as he is aware that Wonwoo had been keeping something, it's bad if Junhui will get stressed because of this.

  
The rest wanted to argue but seeing how scaring Jihoon looked, they agreed. Junhui smiled at the younger and mouthed a ‘thank you' to him. He thanked god Jihoon also knew.  
They all watched the television and Junhui would sometimes glance at Minghao who was talking to Mingyu. He suddenly felt scared. He didn't know why but he just did. He turned to his left and saw Wonwoo looking at him with worry. He smiled softly and tried to tell him that he's not okay by furrowing his brows and somehow, Wonwoo got the message.

  
The boy stood up and helped Junhui sat down. He carefully reached out for the dextrose and helped the elder stand up. Jisoo assisted them after he noticed the black headed struggled a bit. Wonwoo and Jisoo placed Junhui in the wheelchair and he nodded to Jisoo as a sign of thanks.

  
"We'll just be out for a while." Wonwoo announced and only received a nod from Seungcheol. Wonwoo noticed Minghao staring at them but he only nodded to the younger boy. He moved the wheelchair towards the bathroom and locked it before he waited for Junhui to burst.

  
Surprisingly, the boy didn't but he looked like he was holding it. Wonwoo could sigh in worry and held the elder's shoulders, "Don't even dare hold back when I'm around."  
Junhui nodded and he exhaled along with the pretty flowers escaping his chest.

 

  
God, it's taunting him even in his dreams.

 

 

_Never knew flowers could be nightmares._

 

 

  
His vision blurred but he felt fingers wiping his eyes.

 

  
"Hey, don't cry," Wonwoo told him. "I hate seeing you in pain."

 

That's when he noticed the tears that tried to fall glistening at Wonwoo's thumb. He sighed in relief. What can he ever do without his friend?

 

Soon, Junhui calmed down and stopped sobbing.

 

 

_It fucking hurts._

* * *

"I always wonder," Wonwoo asked as he scraped off the flowers on the floor. Junhui's chest had burst again the following day. "If someone ever loves you, what flowers do you want them to have?"

  
"What do you mean?" Junhui questioned, unsure about what his friend's question meant. "Fan love, or like, yunno, love love?"

  
"The second one."

  
"To be honest, I don't want them to get hurt." Junhui stared up for a while and think. He never thought much about it since he thought no one really likes him that way, but he replied anyway. "I guess those tiny baby's breath? So that when they burst, they won't get hurt."

  
"Baby's breath? Like the one used in weddings?" Wonwoo chuckled and placed the petals to the trash bin. "Funny how it meant everlasting love."

  
"Yeah—wait," Junhui frowned a bit, while he watched the younger washed his hands. "Everlasting means until the end… I change my mind. I don't want them to get hurt until the end, even into tiny bits."

  
Wonwoo laughed and opened the door. "Sure, Jun."

  
"It's ‘Sure, Jan", bitch." Junhui snapped and Wonwoo could only roll his eyes. He's meme dictionary is limited, you see.

  
"Did you burst again?" Minghao asked in concern after he saw the two entered the white room again.

  
"Yeah, nothing fancy." Junhui smiled, softly. But the younger was worried. He told Wonwoo that he'll help Junhui, instead and took the wheelchair from the black-haired.

  
After the younger helped the brunette, he sat down near him. "Are you feeling great now?"

  
"Yeah, I'm feeling fine now." Junhui chuckled. "Relief, rather."

  
"That's good to here."

 

 

Maybe it won't get hurt anymore.

* * *

Junhui spent less time in the bathroom anymore.

  
He didn't need to burst out constantly when he sees Minghao but sometimes it happens. Things were getting better for them and he liked this new feeling. But he frowned when he heard the news from his manager.

  
"I'm sorry, Junhui." The old man said. "But we can't be on hiatus for so long. Wonwoo even sacrificed himself just so that the news would appear that he's suffering from gastritis, and by the time it's time to promote, you have to go back on stage with everybody."

  
"We need to do the operation."

  
But before he could even reply, Minghao marched into the room and stood in front of them. "Please don't."

  
Junhui stared at the younger's back in confusion.

  
"Don't ever get him hurt." Minghao turned around to the younger. "I caused this and I'm changing it."

  
"Hao, what are you trying to say?" The manager asked, a bit antsy.

  
"I'm the reason why Junhui-Hyung has this sickness!" The room turned silent and only the messy panting of Minghao could be heard.

 

 

  
_How…?_

  
Wonwoo.

 

  
"Hyung, I'm sorry." Minghao began. "I'm sorry I didn't notice it but I know you like me. Someone told me that it was me you're in love with and I'm sorry that even I was confused at first." He choked but continued, nonetheless. "I really admire you and I couldn't admit it for a very long time that I really love you. Not in an infatuation way but, like… love love—like how you would say it. I'm really sorry you have to go all through this."

  
Junhui couldn't believe his ears. Minghao loves him? But, since when?

 

_No way…_

 

 

  
He needed to thank Wonwoo after this.

* * *

Wonwoo wiped his tears after he heard the confession. He walked away but soon, he found himself running. He ran and turned a corner. He knew what he did was the right choice and he didn't regret it.

 

 

Even if he is in so much pain.

 

 

 

_"Hyung, Dino said you called me." Minghao sat down beside the elder._

  
_Wonwoo sighed and hoped that this is the right choice. ‘It has to… for Junhui.' Wonwoo smiled, sadly and faced the younger. "I called you for something urgent… something I can't really tell the others."_

  
_"It's about Junhui-Hyung, right?" The elder's ears perked at the mention of Jun's name. Wonwoo nodded and closed his eyes, hoping that everything is just a dream._  
_"You're the cause of this."_

  
_Silence filled the room and Wonwoo fiddled, subtly, on the hem of his sleeve. He panicked for a while when Minghao didn't even look at him and it took him a few minutes before he heard,_

 

 

  
_"I'm aware." Minghao turned to the boy next to him. The hallway filled with_ Wonwoo's _heartbeat despite the loud steps of people running around. ‘If he's aware, then…'_

_"I'm aware of two things." Minghao showed two of his fingers to Wonwoo. "One, I'm aware I caused this. I know Jun-Hyung has feelings for me but I'm still confused—up until now. I don't know if I like him or not because everything seems so unclear." He stopped and Wonwoo could see the little boy sniffed. "I was so confused that he even needed to be sent here in this ugly place. I'm so guilty and I know how vulnerable he is now and that's when I came to my senses. I'm the one who caused this. Why? Because if he likes you, then he wouldn't have this… thing."_

  
Wonwoo's _eyes widened. Minghao is aware with—_

  
_"I'm aware of your feelings for Hyung," Minghao muttered with hesitation. "I'm aware that you like him a lot and lately, he hangs out a lot with you and it makes me think you're one of my toughest competitors. But how can I hate you? You're Wonwoo-Hyung! You comfort me when I'm down and even if you want something, if someone else wants it, you give it to them."_

  
_"I envy you because no matter what happens—no matter on how much you feel—you're willing to give up your love for someone's sake," Minghao commented._

  
_"I'm doing this for Junhui." Wonwoo mumbled but it was loud enough for Minghao to here._

  
_"I know." The younger smiled. "But Hyung, thank you for telling me."_

 

 

 

One thing Minghao is not aware of is that Wonwoo envied him so much.

 

 

  
He has him.

 

  
Wonwoo sobbed and tripped but he caught himself by holding on to the wall. He stood up properly and as soon as he opened the door of the restroom, he saw only white. His vision blurred and when his eyesight came back, he saw beautiful white flowers floating in the air that came from his chest.

 

  
But he didn't focus on that.

 

 

 

 

  
He focused in front of him.

 

 

 

He stared at the figure in front of him and he smiled, sadly. "He probably felt more pain."

  
"Such delicate flowers you have." He reached out for the small pretty blossom and twirled it between his pointer finger and thumb. "This means everlasting love, right?" Wonwoo could only nod. The taller chuckled. "You love him?" Wonwoo nodded again. The boy chuckled and confessed, "But do you know, you two aren't the only one who has this stupid disease?"

 

 

 

 

_What?_

 

 

  
"You…" Wonwoo's eyes widened. "You like someone?"

 

 

 

"Yeah," Mingyu smiled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You."

 

 

 

 

The room filled with bloody colors in the same shade. Some were maroon and some were pinker. And he could fill his tears slowly spilling when he realized something else was with it—

 

 

_—Thorns._

 

 

That's when Wonwoo knew, Junhui wasn't the one in pain the most. Mingyu was hurting so much, and he has to change that.

 

  
For Junhui,

 

 

And for _him._

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me at:  
> twitter: jeonwoniw  
> tumblr (hiatus): woniw  
> aff: hokageyama_tobio


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